The Safety in Love
by umpcai
Summary: Content in the presence of his new bride, Coop innocently states his thoughts. His phrase, however, is one that will cause Phoebe to reassess her past.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Charmed.

**The Safety in Love**

"I love you, Phoebe," Coop said as he faced his wife of only two months. The two were reclining in their bed, having returned home from an early family dinner at the Halliwell's manor a short while before.

"I know," Phoebe grinned, pulling his face down to hers. She broke the kiss a moment later, "And, I love you."

A soft smile crossed Coop's face. "You know, as a Cupid, I find love for everyone else. I never thought I would find it for myself."

"But, you did." Phoebe ran her fingers across his cheek.

"Yeah, I did. Do you know how much you mean to me? When I think of all the pain in the world, of all the people who I can't find love for, of all the demons and other evils I know are out there... I'm just so lucky. Everything's so right with you, Phoebe. You're the safest place I know. And I- Phoebe are you OK?"

For a moment, something akin to pain had flashed through her dark eyes as they had widened. Her hand had dropped to her side, no longer caressing his face. "I, I'm fine, just really tired."

She turned over, her back facing a confused Coop, and pulled the covers up to her neck. She scrunched her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that were forming. But, she couldn't prevent the choked sob that broke free from her throat.

"Phoebe?" Coop immediately sat upright, a hand going to her shoulder. It was starting to shake. "Phoebe, what's wrong? Talk to me, Honey. Phoebe?!"

She shrugged off his hand as she threw back her blankets and got to her feet. Quickly walking across the room, several tears leaking out, she muttered, "I need some water."

Coop watched her retreating form with shock and worry.

The bathroom door shut loudly behind her and the lock clicked. Inside, Phoebe flipped the light switch and hastily turned on the faucet of the sink. Cool water rushed out. Scooping it into her hands, she splashed the liquid onto her face. After using a towel to dry off, she glanced in the mirror before her, ignoring Coop's anxious calls. Her mind was replaying his earlier statement over and over.

_Safest place I know. Safest place I know. Safest place I-_

Her arm flew to the light switch. Engulfed in darkness, she leaned against the door, her hands in fists at her sides. Her face crumpled as the tears poured out. She sagged to the floor and brought her knees in front of her, wrapping her arms around them, as she cried.

"Phoebe? Phoebe! You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

She wasn't answering him. When Coop heard her fall to the ground and her quiet weeping, he grabbed the phone from his nightstand next to the bed. Dialing the number he'd become familiar with since he and Phoebe had gotten together almost six months before, he silently pleaded for Phoebe's older sister to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Piper! I don't know what to do. She's locked in the bathroom and she's crying. She won't answer me. I can't figure out what's wrong. The only read I'm getting from her is heartbreak, but I don't know why," Coop blurted out in a rush, his sentences stringing together.

"Coop, calm down," Piper said over the phone. She heard him take a deep breath. "Now, is Phoebe OK?"

"Physically, yes," he answered, staring at the bathroom door. "But, I used my ring and, Piper, there's so much pain in her heart right now."

"You know she doesn't like you using your powers on her," Piper scolded.

"I had to. She wasn't telling me anything."

"About what? Look, why don't you start from the beginning. Tell me what happened after you two left here that got her so upset," Piper suggested.

"That's the thing; I don't know. We were just talking. She was happy and everything was great. Then, I said that I loved her and how happy I was and how lucky. She got this weird look in her eyes and turned away from me. I heard her struggling not to cry and asked her what was wrong. She ran to the bathroom. Now, I can't get her out. She's just in there crying and ignoring me. I thought she'd get mad if I just transported myself in there. And I didn't know what else to do, so I called you. You grew up with her. What do you think is wrong?"

"Maybe they were happy tears?" offered Piper skeptically.

"I told you: heartbreak."

Across San Francisco, Piper sighed in her room. "You said she was fine until you starting showering her with compliments and voicing the feelings for her she already knows you have?"

"Well, I didn't say it like that, but, yes."

"What specifically did you say?"

"What does that matter? The sum of it was that I love her."

"There might have been something in the words you used. Something that offended her or maybe it came out wrong. I don't know. I'm grasping at straws here. Phoebe's always been complex. Just tell me what you said exactly."

Looking again at the closed door ahead of him, Coop answered his sister-in-law. "I asked if she knew how much she meant to. And I told her, that when I think about the demons, and loveless people, everyone in the world who's hurting, that I realize again just how lucky I am to be with her. I told her everything's right with her."

Piper was silent for a minute, contemplating. "You're right. That pretty much equals love. Are you sure that's all you said?"

"I'm pos... wait, I also told her that she's the safest place I know. See, nothing wrong or offensive. What's wrong with her? I'm really getting worried here, Piper."

"There's something familiar about that, but I can't remember what it is."

"About the safest place thing?"

"Yeah, if I could just place my finger on it," Piper said.

"Do you think she thinks I'm lying about it? 'Cause, I'm not and-""

"Why do you think a Cupid lying to his wife about his feelings would be familiar to me? Just let me think for a second."

"I don't have a second. You don't hear her crying. It's heart wrenching. I need to know what's wrong. I need to help her."

"If you'll just give me a... oh my god. I know why that made her cry."

Coop held the phone closer to his ear. "You do?"

"I think I do, anyway. I can't be sure, but I definitely know why that phrase sounded so familiar."

"Tell me."

"Um, maybe you should let me talk to her about it first. Is it OK if I come over now? Wyatt and Chris are already asleep and Leo wasn't going anywhere tonight, so I'll drive over now."

"Is it some sort of sister thing? Like you and her and Prue always said you felt safest together and my saying it made her think of Prue, or something like that?"

Piper felt the wave of sadness that always accompanied the mention of her deceased sister. She pushed it back, needing to focus on Phoebe. "Or something."

* * *

Ending the call, Piper faced her husband. Leo had picked up the task of washing dishes after Piper had answered the phone and been distracted from it.

"What's wrong with, Phoebe?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, but I have a pretty good idea," Piper said, thinking of a time almost six years past and an elaborate ruse made by a former ally. "I'm just gonna go to her loft for a bit, talk to her. You OK here?"

Leo nodded.

"Great," she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and left her home.

* * *

Still sitting against her bathroom's door, Phoebe had heard Coop's frantic yells for her to talk to him; she'd heard him on the phone with her sister. She didn't want them to worry. She wanted to wipe the tears from her face, open the door, smile brightly, and say everything was great.

But, she couldn't stop crying. Coop's words, like a mantra in her head, wouldn't let her forget again what she'd tried so hard to keep buried in the back of her heart. The words were mocking her every second since Coop had uttered them a full twenty five minutes before. Each letter, each syllable, each word, all unspoken since Coop's announcement, served as a reminder of what she had done to the last man to tell her that. An invisible dagger was piercing her heart repeatedly.

The last man to say that. She'd proven him so wrong. She'd been the least safe place for him in the end.

_Safest place I know._

She'd wanted to be that for the other man. He'd been her safest place. But, then she'd become consumed with pain, anger, fear, and guilt.

_Safest place I know._

She'd failed. The safest place he'd known had destroyed him.

"Phoebe. Open up. I need to talk to you."

Piper frowned at the other side of the door. She turned to Coop. "Can you send me in there?"

"She'll get mad."

"She'll deal."

Coop sighed. If it could stop Phoebe's pain, he was willing to risk her anger. Raising his ring toward Piper, he was a bout to teleport her when she stopped him.

"Before you do that, can you maybe go? I need some alone time to my sister. You can visit Leo, have a guys night."

"I really want to be here for her," Coop protested.

"We'll call you when you can come back," promised Piper.

"Fine." He teleported Piper into the bathroom. Then, Coop disappeared into a smoky pink-white cloud and a tiny red heart.

* * *

"Pheebs?" Piper said gently when she reappeared on the other side of the door. She took in her little sister's form- wrinkled clothes, crouched on the cold bathroom tile, and a tear-stained face. "Oh, Pheebs."

Seeing Piper, Phoebe hastened to wipe her eyes.

Piper knelt down next to her, sympathy in her eyes. "Honey."

Looking up at Piper, Phoebe realized her sister knew. She knew what she was crying for. She knew what she had blocked her heart from for so long. She knew what even her Cupid husband, whom she really did love, had not seen. Piper knew that Coop wasn't the only man in Phoebe's heart, nor was he the most prominent, no matter how it had been denied in the past.

"Coop told me what he said to you, Phoebe," Piper revealed. "Sweetie, he didn't know."

Piper wrapped her arms around Phoebe, hugging the younger woman as her tears came back.

"He said that to me, too, Piper," Phoebe cried, despite the fact that Piper already knew this. Phoebe had told her a long time ago. "Cole said that to me."

* * *

Half an hour later, Phoebe and Piper finally exited the bathroom. Phoebe dried the last of her tears with her shirt sleeve. Her eyes still held considerable amounts of pain, but the crying had stopped.

Phoebe had voiced to Piper her innermost thoughts. She spoke of how she'd pushed Cole away after his first vanquish because she was afraid, if she gave it another try, their relationship would fail and she wouldn't be able to handle it. She'd pushed him away out of guilt, because she hadn't saved him when he was possessed by the Source of All Evil; she'd instead killed him. Piper pointed out that, by that point, vanquishing had been the only way to save his soul. She had pushed him away because of her pain, but she now felt that she shouldn't have ignored his. Lastly, Phoebe said that she had pushed Cole away because of her anger, at herself, at her sisters, at the Elders who were no help, at Cole, at his demonic heritage, at Evil that wouldn't let him go, and at Good that didn't want him.

Phoebe told Piper that, when Coop had shown her her old loves months ago and when Drake had helped her believe a little more in love even further back, she had started to lose all the anger. Fear had no longer been available, seeing as she had already killed Cole again, so their new chance was gone. She said she had started to remember the love. She'd lost the denial she'd had about her feelings since Cole's self-resurrection from the Demonic Wasteland. Then, she confided in Piper that allowing herself to feel the love again had only increased the pain. It made her face the fact that she'd ruined the love of her life, her soul mate. That she'd killed him. That he no longer existed. Her guilt, too, grew strong again. She'd faced that she'd never get a chance to apologize for hurting him, or ever be able to tell him that she still loved him with every fiber of her being.

So she'd buried the feelings, the love, the pain, and the guilt, again. Then, she'd fallen for her Cupid. Phoebe made sure Piper realized that she really did love Coop, that she wouldn't have married him if she hadn't. But, she'd admitted that the love she felt for her husband wasn't even on the same scale of the love she felt for her ex.

Coop's statement, something Cole had once believed, had caught her off guard and knocked away her defenses. Everything had come rushing back again.

To Phoebe's surprise, Piper had confessed that she too felt guilty about the way they'd handled the situation with Cole. Then, she'd ushered Phoebe out of the bathroom, saying something about cramped quarters and the comfortable feel of the space outside of the tiny square they occupied.

"Thanks for being here with me, Piper," Phoebe said. "This wasn't something I could talk to Coop about. I don't want to hurt him."

"But, Pheebs, he's a Cupid. He may not have noticed them yet, or he doesn't want to face them, but he's gonna know your feelings for Cole."

"I've told Coop not to use his powers on me."

"Phoebe."

The witch marched to an easy chair in the corner of her room and sat down. "I really don't want to hurt him. I do love Coop, too."

"But, can you really be happy with him for the rest of your life. You've tried making your feelings for Cole go away, but they aren't, are they? Sooner or later, somebody's gonna get hurt."

"I'm comfortable with Coop. How many times do I have to say that I love him?"

"But, you're not _in_ love with him. Being 'comfortable' with someone isn't a reason to stay with them."

"Cole's dead, Piper. What the heck difference do you think it makes?" Phoebe snapped.

"I know you're not a cruel person, Honey. And you keep saying you don't want to hurt Coop."

"I can be happy with him, though."

"If there was a chance, Phoebe, for you to be with Cole again, would you take it?"

Phoebe glanced guiltily at her sister and nodded. "In a heartbeat."

"Then you shouldn't be with Coop. It's not fair to him, or to you."

"You're right," Phoebe sighed. "I know you're right. But, I don't want to lose Coop, too."

"Maybe you can stay friends?"

""I'm never getting my little girl am I?" Phoebe suddenly said.

"You weren't with Coop just to get that child you saw in your premonition were you, Phoebe?" Piper questioned, aghast.

"Of course not," Phoebe looked insulted. "I wasn't even planning on having her with Coop. I mean, he keeps bringing it up, but I tell him I want to wait, enjoy our newlywed phase first."

"But, you've been waiting for years, Phoebe. Very impatiently, I might add."

"I know. Just, well, do you know what I first thought when I had that premonition? I thought, 'God, I hope it's Cole's baby'. But, of course, I was in denial then, and actually pretty angry at myself for thinking that. I got even angrier when I reminded myself that it could never happen, because I had killed him."

"Let me guess. You buried the feelings again."

"Well, I only let them out for a second, so really it wasn't so hard to force myself to ignore them again."

"Oh, Phoebe," Piper said sadly.

"Even though I wouldn't face it, I guess my subconscious still wanted Cole to be my Ladybug's daddy, because the thought of Coop as her father, it hurt," Phoebe finished explaining. "I was just gonna postpone kids with Coop forever. So, no, Piper, I didn't marry him just for that. The kid thing just popped into my head then because I was rudely dragged out of denial earlier and I was facing that, too."

"Sorry I even said it," apologized Piper. "I know you wouldn't do that."

"Um, I take it you guys are finished, now?"

Phoebe jumped up as she faced her husband. "I missed my own house," Coop said. "And I realized Piper had no right to kick me out. That my wife was hurting and that I was going to help her." His eyes sought out Phoebe's and she saw the sadness there. "But I wish I would've stayed with Leo now."

"Coop," Phoebe began. "How, how long have you been there?"

"I'm just gonna go now. I'll call you tomorrow, Phoebe."

Neither Coop nor Phoebe walked Piper to the front door.

"Since you decided you'd jump at the chance to be with your ex- husband," Coop answered.

She cringed and said the only thing she could think of. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

Coop's hardened features softened at the sincerity he heard in her voice. "I know. You couldn't admit it even to yourself. I really wish I had realized, though, Phoebe. I guess I just didn't want to though. I wanted you to love me as much as I love you."

"I do love you, Coop."

"But, you don't really want me. You're _in_ love with him," he laughed a little bitterly. "My competition is a dead demon."

"It's not a competition."

"You're right. It's not. He's your true love, and I can't compete with that."

He hesitantly removed the ring on his left hand. Placing it on their dresser, he said, "I'll, uh, look into the divorce. I'll come by for my stuff tomorrow, if that's OK with you."

Phoebe grabbed his arm before he could vanish. For a split second, it crossed his mind that she would tell him not to go. "I am so sorry."

She enveloped him in a hug. He held back the tears as he held her.

When she pulled back, he said in a voice barely above a whisper, "If there's a way for you to get him back, Phoebe, do it. I want you happy. He'll make that happen. Magic and love are the most powerful things I know. Keep your heart open to him, and try to fix it."

She squeezed his hand, "You have to look for love for yourself, too. I know it's out there. Cupids, especially you, can't be loveless. I'm sorry I couldn't be what I thought I could for you. But, follow your own good advice and find love."

With a kiss to her cheek, Coop left.

* * *

"Phoebe, what are you doing?"

It had been a week since Phoebe's breakdown in the bathroom. Coop had gotten the Angel of Destiny who had married them to expunge their marriage, so they wouldn't have to go through months of divorce papers and filing like mortals normally had to do. Since Coop had said his initial goodbye, Phoebe had been searching her family's magical heirloom, The Book of Shadows, for some way to follow through with his plea. Everyday after leaving the Bay Mirror newspaper offices and submitting her advice column, she went over to Piper's house and spent hours in the attic, to no avail so far.

Piper was unaware to what it was her sister was looking for. Despite her constant questioning, Phoebe had refused to answer. It was early on a Saturday morning, though, now, and Phoebe was already up and across town to look in the Book. Piper was worried. So, she'd asked again.

Phoebe didn't look up as she answered. She continued flipping through the Book's pages, scanning passages of spells, demon biographies, and other supernatural whatnot. "If I haven't told you all week, Piper, what makes you think I'll tell you now?"

"It's six a.m. on a weekend, Phoebe! What are you doing?"

Phoebe slammed the Book closed in frustration. She reached the same conclusion she did everyday: there was nothing in it to help her. Of course, she wasn't sure what exactly to look for. Cole had been vanquished in an alternate reality. The universe had switched back immediately after. So, he wasn't supposed to exist at all, not even in an afterlife. Phoebe didn't like that, though. She was researching the Wasteland, alternate realities, and demons with souls, though Cole was the only one like that she knew of. She glared at what she felt was a useless book, in this case at least.

She decided to answer her sister, if only to keep her from asking so much. And, there was a small chance that Piper would help. "I didn't know if you'd help or put up a fuss, so I didn't want to tell you."

Piper's eyes widened. "I'm an idiot. Such an idiot. How did I not realize? You're trying to bring Cole back."

"You seemed like you didn't hate him anymore the other night, but resurrecting him is quite a bit different from forgiving," Phoebe continued. "But, I can't find anything, so now I have to beg for your help. Please, please, Piper."

"Phoebe, if you'd told me before, I'd have told you where he is. I meant to the other night, but then Coop came in. And I was busy with the kids this week, I guess, so I didn't put two and two together."

Phoebe was openly gaping at her sister. "You know where he is?"

"Limbo," Piper said. She paused, suddenly nervous. How was Phoebe gonna react knowing that she'd kept this secret from her for so long? "He was the 'old friend' that helped me when I went into that coma after the fight with the Thorn demons. He thought helping me believe in my love with Leo would make you not give up on love."

"What?" Phoebe screeched. "You've known that all this time and you never told me? Piper, why the heck not?"

"Well, before a few days ago, I didn't know how you felt about him. I didn't want to reopen old wounds. And, so I just, you know, didn't say anything."

"Piper!"

"OK, so I told Leo," Piper amended, even though Phoebe hadn't asked.

Phoebe grabbed the Book, deciding there was nothing she could do to change the past, so she should just let Piper off the hook. "I hadn't even thought of Limbo. There might be something in here about calling out a lost soul. And... wait, Piper, why is Cole in Limbo?"

"Eternal punishment. He can see you, but not be with you. Not to mention, the Elders don't want him 'up there' and I doubt, after his betrayal, he's wanted 'down below' either."

"He can see me? Oh! I knew I heard him that day when you were in a coma. He saw me and said something, right?"

"Quoted Shakespeare about beauty."

Phoebe glanced around the room. She'd heard him from another plane, so maybe she'd be able to see him, too. "Do you think he's here, now?"

"I doubt it. He knew I wasn't pleased that he checked in every once in awhile. But, then again, knowing Cole, he'd probably keep doing it just to get on my nerves. Hey, you know, he was able to pick up a picture and sit on a chair that day. I just went straight through everything. He seemed to have learned to do stuff normal spirits shouldn't be able to do. I wonder... Cole! If you can hear me, move something." She explained to Phoebe, "We'd be able to see something he moved in our plane."

Phoebe restlessly glanced around. Piper, while keeping an eye out for movement, was also busy hoping that her other sister wouldn't stop by unexpectedly. As far as Piper knew, Paige still hated Cole with a passion. It wouldn't do for her to orb in when Piper and Phoebe were trying to contact him. Better she didn't know until after the fact.

"Cole?" Phoebe asked anxiously.

* * *

From his plane, Cole had been watching Phoebe's reading of the Book for the last few days. He'd also watch her breakdown at her loft. After feeling that she was in pain, he'd peeked in for a bit, only to feel once again that he was hurting her.

He was still in shock that she wanted him back. He hesitated before deciding to answer her and Piper's calls.

"You rang?" he asked, materializing in the plane of the living. The words wavered. As much as he loved Phoebe and wanted nothing more than to hold her again, he was nervous at seeing her again after so much time, especially since their last encounter had been anything but cordial.

Phoebe heard his voice and looked behind her. Her heart skipped several beats as she met his clear, blue eyes. "Cole..."

"How did you do that?"

Cole didn't remove his eyes from Phoebe as he answered Piper, "Figured out I can come to this plane for short periods of time. It's something to do with the Belthazor powers I kept after my vanquish."

"You still have your demon-half?" Piper asked. It was definitely better that Paige wasn't here now.

Cole shrugged. "Yeah."

Seeing that no one was actually focusing on her, Piper decided to go spend time with her husband and children. She left Phoebe and Cole alone in the attic, shutting the door behind her.

"I'm sorry," Phoebe said, unable to move. "For how I hurt you."

"Me, too."

Phoebe took a step closer. "I still love you, you know."

If he was alive, Cole knew he wouldn't have been able to breathe. "I love you, too."

Phoebe smiled. That was all the encouragement she needed to launch herself into Cole's arms. Snuggling against his chest, she enjoyed the feel of his arms around her again. "I'm going to find a way to bring you back. I promise."

Cole looked down at her, wondering how a demon, even one who turned good, had gotten into heaven. He grinned, "I'm guessing Paige doesn't know. Can I tell her?"

"You just like to annoy her," she said, not moving from his arms.

"Obviously."

"She'll try to kill you."

"I'd tell her while I was still dead."

Phoebe looked into his face and ran her hands through his dark hair, "Whatever." She pulled him down for a passionate kiss. Cole drew her closer.

"You're still the safest place I know," he whispered.

**The End**


End file.
